Angie’s Journey…

Hi Buddies,

I know, it’s odd for me to post a Saturday blog, but I just couldn’t live without you!! 

Anyway, I had an interesting day today. I got up this morning and took my oldest, Cameron, to soccer practice, where I spent the entire time talking about awful customer service and of course, the problems with outsourcing with my friend’s husband. I won’t go into that right now, lol.

Then, I came home and DH asks, “What’s for lunch?” Well…for some reason this really p***** me off, but I kept my mouth shut. You gotta pick your battles. Anyway, he decides to take a nap with Noah, our 3 year old. Before he goes to sleep, he says, “Wake me up when lunch is ready.”

Ok, no biggie. So I made this incredibly delicious cheeseburger pizza thing. I found the recipe online and “lightened” it up with fresh tomatoes, less ketchup, and no sauce. It was SOOO good. But when I woke DH to eat it, he complained through the meal…well, needless to say, I found his brand of complaining especailly offensive, so we got into an argument simply because I demanded respect. LOL. I know, a shock, right?? Well, we got over it and things are now fine.

Still, I managed to use up a few of my flex points, but I consciously told myself that it was ok, I didn’t fall off the wagon, and I could then move on.

Then I took my boys out in the back yard and ran around playing soccer with them for like an hour, so I figure I used up those extras anyway. You know what was weird? Normally, I just sit and watch them play. Today, I was sitting there and pulled a Dan. I asked myself, “What do I really want?” Well, I want to play with my kids. I thought, well, I’m trying to lose weight so I can be more active with my kids. Why can’t I be more active now? It can only help. Well…all of that took like 30 seconds, and I was up and moving. They LOVED it. And guess what?? So did I!! Woo hoo!! Success.

Okay, that’s all I’ve got to report today. I must tell you that after that arguement, I felt like quitting the whole diet thing (as I always do during my rare arguments w/ DH), but instead I logged in here and read a couple of blogs and some of the comments on my blog. Thank you all for that. This site has made such a significant difference for me. I love you guys!!

Hugs,
Angie

Hello Buddies,

Well, nothing too major to report today. I had a run in with the stupid cable/internet people. I swear, ever since they started outsourcing, their service has steadily declined. The actual service is not that great, but the customer service is outrageously bad. I mean REALLY bad. I called last month to request (yet another) service call, and also complained that my internet goes down at least a couple of times a day-and the the cable blocks up and stops regularly. The lady was nice and said that she’d credit me a month’s service. Well, I’m on the auto pay program, so she said they just wouldn’t take out the amount this month. Well, they DID and I wasn’t expecting it, so long story short, I called to complain. The “gentleman” who answered barely spoke English and couldn’t understand a word I was saying (go outsourcing), and I asked to speak to his supervisor. He then transferred me to Texas, where I spoke to a “lady” (not really) who informed me that not only could she not correct the error, but that I could not have the free month of service I’d been promised!! I told her, “Listen, I have managed both billing AND customer service departments, and THIS IS NOT HOW YOU DO IT!! This is HORRIBLE customer service. Then I took her name and some ID number she gave (because she refused to give her last name), and I informed her that I would be complaining about her and her lack of concern for maintaining customers. Now, normally I am very respectful of EVERYONE, including even telemarketers, but this woman was downright RUDE! It is unbelievable to me that such a large company obviously gives their (SUPERVISORS, even) employees zero customer service training. And if they do give the training, clearly they don’t care about the follow through. This woman was a supervisor. I couldn’t believe it. So I was incredibly angry last night and it sort of filtered into everything else that happened.

I apologized to my darling family for being so cranky. Luckily, they forgave me, lol. I did manage to stay on my diet, so that  was good. After I got off the phone with THAT WOMAN, I sent a scathing email to the company. Hopefully, they will want to keep me as a customer. We’ll see.

Anyway, other than that, I took Cameron to the dentist this morning to get a filling. He’s miserable, tummy hurts and can’t eat. I kept him home from school so he could sleep it off. Normally, I would have taken him back, but he looked pretty miserable. He was even really pale. I think it was pretty traumatic for him. I need to find a new dentist, one of those kid friendly ones.

So, like I said, doing well with the points. I do have one problem area–I need to stop eating late at night. I figure if it’s within points, it’s ok, but I’m starting to doubt that theory. What do you all think?

Anyway, wanted to thank you all again for all of your support. Sorry for the venting, but I’m still peeved for some reason. Although, getting it out helped a bit. You all have a wonderful day.
Hugs,

Angie

Hey Buddies,

Well, I have some amazing news. My oldest son, Cameron, did something really cool last night. You see, his soccer team is new this year and a lot of the players are very green. Cameron has some great potential but sometimes gets discouraged because up until last night, his team never even made a goal at their games.

So last night, I planned to stay home with my cranky three year old, Noah, while my DH took Cameron to his game. Well, Cameron begged me at the last minute to go with them, saying he couldn’t stand it if I missed the game and he wouldn’t play as well. Now, he tugged those mommy heart strings, so I really had no choice. I hurried up and got together the activity bag for the little one and off we went.

In the car, I told Cameron that he needed to play his best (as I always tell him). I had him do a few affirmations and told him he was the best player out there, that he just needed to try and then he’d see what I was talking about. So I cheered the team and my kid on as always, and anytime Cameron came near where I was, I gave him an extra shout out. Well…I hope you’re sititng down, MY BABY SCORED THE FIRST GOAL OF THE SEASON FOR HIS TEAM!!! Talk about a proud mama! Oh my…I almost ran out on the field and kissed him all over his little face, but I maintained myself so as not to embarrass him…lol. But all the other parents came up and told me what a good job he did, even the coach. It was funny because when the other team scored one of their many goals of the game, their parents clapped for a second or two and moved on. When Cameron scored this goal, all the parents on our team stood up and screamed and cheered for literally like two and a half minutes. It was amazing.

And here’s the REALLY cool part of it all…well, two really cool parts. First, Cameron told me that it took his whole team to make that goal happen (tears of joy, let me tell you! I’m so proud that he gets that!). Second, he told me that he couldn’t have done it if he didn’t know that I was there cheering him on…what a huge compliment that was to me as a mommy…I’m tearing up a little just remembering it…They are, of course, happy tears…sometimes motherhood seems like a thankless job, and what an amazing way for my baby to tell me he loves me…okay, gotta stop talking about it now because I’m bawling, lol…

Okay, now that we’ve done that…lol…I was just so proud of him…

Anyway, I’m still rocking on the diet and staying busy. My DH’s car got done last night and it only cost $587.00…(only, lol), but we’re going to be okay. This is a good day.

I just want to tell you all once again how much I value the friendship and support I get here. I genuinely care about you guys and I love that I can be so honest and real about my feelings and my weight loss efforts here. It makes such a difference and I am so very glad that I found this place. I tell all kinds of people about this site because I feel like it’s such a wonderful service and such an easy format. Thank you all for being here.
Hugs,

Angie

Good day, Buddies!!
Well…today is crazy. Last night, my darling husband went to visit a friend in West County (we’re in North County)–about a half hour away. Anyway, he called me and informed me that his car broke down once he got there. ACH! Every time we start to get ahead…

Anyway, it’s going to cost us over $600.00 to fix…talk about an unexpected expense…

But, we are keeping our spirits up. We’ve done this before, we always manage one way or another. I told him to get ready to have no extra cash for a couple of weeks. He’s not thrilled, but we’re going to be ok. We always get by–even when times are tough. It could be so much worse.

So this morning, I had to take him to work because my oldest has a doctor’s appointment this afternoon. In an hour and a half, I’ve got to get out the door w/ the little one and pick the older up from school, then off to the dr. Then to the pharmacy and to pick up DH, then come home, cook a really quick dinner, help big kid w/ homework, piano practice, and chores, and then off to his soccer game this evening…

Fun fun fun…but hey, at least I’m not bored!! LOL!! And I always get some good exercise at the soccer game, jumping around and yelling for my kid’s team. It’s funny because usually I hate sports, but when my kids is playing, it’s the BEST sport ever!! I’m such a dork sometimes.

Anyway, I’m doing well with my eating today and am working on getting more exercise in. I didn’t do my walk this morning because DH forgot his badge for work in his car and needs it to get into the building at work, so we had to drive all the way to Frontenac (where my uncle’s auto shop is) and pick it up before taking him to work–with traffic, it took over two hours. Ick. Traffic is NO FUN. You know, I grew up in a small, small town and never really experienced REAL traffic before moving to St. Louis. Geez.

Ok, I guess I’m going to wrap it up. I’ve gotta go get beautiful for all of my business today. You all have a wonderful day and thank you so much for all of your support!!!

Hugs,

Angie

Hey Buddies,

Not much new to report today. Things are blessedly normal. My oldest had band this morning so I had to take him to school at 7:30am. I decided that since I was already out, I would run my errands–grocery store, etc. It’s funny how UNbusy these places are early in the morning, lol. My little one always loves shopping because if he’s good, he gets one of those squirt bottles of water and gets to pick out a couple of fruits. This week, he picked banannas and grapes. He even very specifically told me that he wanted the purple grapes, NOT the green. LOL. He just turned three and it’s so cool to see his little personality developing so quickly. He’s a very SPECIFIC person, lol. He knows exactly what he wants and God help me if I don’t give it to him! LOL. My DH put him to bed last night and came out to tell me that he really appreciates what I do all day long…doesn’t know how I do it without going nuts…Men, lol…

Anyway, I’m doing very well staying on point. I just need to step up the exercise a bit. However, WW recommends that we really kick into gear in week 3, which I think begins for me next Monday? Or maybe it started yesterday, lol…either way, I gotta get busy in that realm. I’m loving the belly dancing but I have no schedule yet. As much as I enjoyed getting out early this morning, I’m thinking that maybe my little one and I will start walking the neighborhood in the AM after the big one gets on the bus. I could start the coffee before I leave and then it would be ready when I get home…It seems logical to me…. Hmm…

Okay, I’ll talk to you all soon. Thanks again for all of your support! It really does mean so much to me!!
Hugs,

Angie

Hi Buddies,

Well, let me start by saying that I weighed in this morning and am down another pound. So that’s a total of 5 since starting WW and a total of 10 since starting BuddySlim. Woohoo! I’m on my way.

Yesterday was my wedding anniversary. DH took me out to dinner on the riverfront to this place called Lewis & Clark Restaurant. We sat on a third floor balcony and had a lovely dinner .Then we took a handsome cab ride (you know, one of those horsedrawn carriages). After that, we went for a walk down to the river itself, and walked all around the river. It was AWESOME!! We haven’t been out without the kids in a year, lol.

Anyway, I saved up most of my points for the day for dinner, and basically I ate what I wanted but I really watched portion control. I didn’t feel deprived and I had a wonderful time!! Yay.

I also wanted to thank all of you for your wonderful support, especially recently regarding the situation with my mother. You all are the best and I really appreciate it. I am so glad I found this place!

Thanks again everyone!!

Hugs,

Angie

Hello Buddies!
You know, there is one person in my life whose approval I’ve always craved, no matter how awfully I’m treated by her. My mother. I know, I know, you’ve heard all the sad mother daughter relationship stories, and I’m not going to tell you mine. Except for this fact: recently, my mother broke up with me. LOL. Seriously, though, she stopped speaking or communicating with me. I tried to reach out to her and she was not interested. I gave up recently after my last attempt to find out why she was behaving this way. I’ve come to the conclusion that she’s got some emotional issues that I can’t fix.

This brought me to the point that I realized that, not only does she have these problems, but that she’s really always had them. So, why am I talking about my mother in my BuddySlim blog??

Well, here it is: I have FINALLY realized something else really important. (Get ready folks, it’s another A HA moment…)…

I don’t need her (or anyone’s) approval to be “good enough”. Now, you may wonder how this translates into a big deal for me. Well, for years, I was trying so hard to gain her approval. Now, I didn’t consciously realize this, but if she disapproved of something I was doing, even if I felt very strongly about it, I eventually talked myself into believing that she was right. And maybe sometimes she was–that’s not the point. The point is that this little girl inside of me was dying for her approval, and never, EVER succeeding in getting it.

Now, having gone several months without constant communication (and critisism) from her, I am beginning to heal from 31 years of this. Don’t get me wrong, I am saddened by the situation, and I desperately wish I could have a “normal” relationship with her–BUT, since she’s not allowing me to do so, I am understanding, probably for the very first time ever, that IT IS NOT MY FAULT–it’s not me, it’s her. LOL. You get the idea.

SO, why does any of this matter to you, my BuddySlim friends? Well, I’ll tell you. It matters because I truly believe that for some reason (which I am working on discovering), this was inhibiting my ability to lose weight, to become healthy. It was almost as if her disapproval was like a weight of its own, and when I tried to do anything to lighten that load, she piled more crap on top of me…this goes on and on and eventually, you’re not even sure what’s left.

This does not mean that I knowingly or even willingly allowed her to have so much control in my life, but she is my mother and whether we are willing to admit it or not, our mothers have a great impact on our lives, even as adults.

So, I am done with this subject and moving forward. It’s interesting, though, how such a realization eases the mind in a way. It’s sort of like a break through, if you will. Self therapy. Whatever. I finally got this one. Now I’ve just gotta discover the “why” of it all, besides the obvious.

All I know now is that even though it really makes me sad that it can’t work, a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I am okay, I am good enough. Odd that this would even be an issue, but there it is.

Well, thanks for letting me get this out. Free therapy, lol. Who’d have thought it??

Thanks for your support!
Hugs,

Angie

Hey Buddies,

Well, here we go. I’ve had a “lightbulb” moment…here it is. Basically, even though I’ve always known LOGICALLY that I would need to take my time to do this–try to lose an average of 2 pounds a week, etc, and that I would need to continue to montior myself to some extent for the rest of my life–there was something inside me that didn’t agree.

Even though I said to myself, “Self, we have to go slowly and make permanent lifestyle changes.” Even though I thought I REALLY believed that…well, secretly, somewhere deep down inside, I really believed that I was different. I believed that I could take it all off in a month or two, and then not ever have to worry about it again. I know. It’s insane. In fact, I feel like laughing my hiney off just reading that sentence. But still, there was that little childlike person within me who still believed that there was some magic solution. That was, until last night.

Last night, I was contemplating this whole weight loss thing, and it came to me. This is for real. This is NOT a short term solution, but it IS a permanent one. Permanent changes take time and effort–and in this case, it’s for the best. For me, for my kids, for my hubby–for my life.

Okay, I know that sounds like nothing big, but I promise you, it was HUGE for me. Huge.

So, I wanted to say thank you all for your support again. I could NOT be doing this successfully without you all. Also, I’m still managing to stick to the points.

Oh, and one more thing. Since I’ve finally had the kick in the head that this is a permanent change, I’ve already started planning for the holidays, and how I’m going to eat better and stay within my points range. (I MIGHT use some of those extra flex points, but at least I plan to stay within my limits). Like Dan said, it’s a marathon.

Okay, I’m off to catch up on everyone’s blogs. Love you guys!!!
Hugs,
Angie

ps Thanks also Nikki for the exercise suggestion. I’m going to start out with that and go from there. It seems “doable”. LOL. Thanks again to all of you.

Hey, you know that whole “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” thing? Well…my oldest son is (and always has been–although “always” is only nine years) in amazing shape. He’s active and physically fit and ever so handsome (ok, that might be mommy bias–but the rest is medical fact, lol). Sooo, what I am wondering is this: why can’t those be my genes?? LOL. Ok, they ARE partially my genes, but I’m guessing he got the “good” genes. Anyway, so I said before that I wondered why I couldn’t do for myself what I’ve done for the kids all along (making sure they’re eating healthy and doing healthy things, etc). Well guess what?

I’m doing it. This is day three of week 2 of my WW plan, and I’ve not cheated even once. Even when I had my little one’s bday party, complete w/ cake and icecream, I didn’t cheat. Instead of my usual (less healthy) spread, I put out fruit and veggie trays and some healthy dips, along with some chips for the DH and some of the kids. I munched on the healthy stuff and everyone else had a combo.

So, I’ve already gone there, but the point is that I’m doing it. I’m loving it, and even loving my self a little bit, lol. There are people in my life who choose not to support me in any way, but I’m distancing myself from those people and trying to stay near folks who can be more supportive.

The only hurdle left is to get some routine down for the exercise. I’ve gotta KEEP doing the healthy eating thing and keep exercising, but I’ve got to move forward with the ROUTINE part of it. I think if I can add it into my “dailies”, I’ll be better. Ach.

Anyway, thanks for listening as always. Tonight my big kid has another soccer game and we have to work on a project for school, so I’ll talk to you all again tomorrow!
Hugs,

Angie

Hello My Dear Buddies,

Well…the title of today’s blog about says it all. Last night while I was cooking dinner, I sliced open my thumb. Not just a little slice, either. I just about cut it in half–quite literally. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I tried to put my jeans on in order to go to the ER. It opened up…well, I won’t go into the yucky details. Needless to say, I went to the ER and it only required 7 stitches, so I guess it wasn’t so bad, but it looked pretty awful.

Apparently, I was in shock because I felt no pain until today…and today I’m going YEOW!!! My oldest has piano at 4:15 and a soccer game at 5:45…soooooo, I don’t really have time for being hurt, lol. And of course I still finished making dinner for the boys and DH before I went to the ER, lol. That’s dedication right?

Anyway, the good thing is that there doesn’t appear to be any permanent damage, although I will probably have an ugly scar…so much for my hand modeling aspirations, LOL!!! Just kidding.

Now on to the topic at hand, I have been doing well on my diet. I’ve even figured out a few tricks to stretch certain yummy items in a way. For example, a whole cup of chili is 8 WW points, while a whole cup of tomatoes is zero. So I can take the chili and cut it by half, replacing the other half with tomatoes and there I go–half the points and all the food. Silly but it’s working for me.

Anyway, I’m going to go nurse my poor thumb before my big kid gets home from school and my little one wakes from his so-called nap. (He’s in there pretending I can’t hear him playing, refusing to nap, lol.)

Thanks everyone for all of your support!
hugs,

Angie