Angie’s Journey…

Hi Buddies,

It’s with a heavy heart that I begin my blog today. My little cat Luna has gone missing and I’m afraid something has happened to her. She’s an indoor cat and must have snuck out the door late last night. DH and I were sitting outside on the porch last night and I saw her right before that. Shortly after that, we went to bed. When I got up this morning, I couldn’t find her. I’ve gone around the neighborhood and looked everywhere–calling for her and everything. (She’s one of those unusual cats who comes when called.) I’m so afraid that something has happened to her or that someone else has picked her up and taken her home. She’s a really cool cat and I’m really upset.

I feel like just calling off the kids’ Halloween party tonight, but I know that’s not the right thing to do. It’s going to be very hard for me to get through this without pigging out at this point. I know she’s just a cat, but I got really close to her and I’m really bummed. However, regardless of what happens, I’ve got to stay strong. There are like ten big bags of candy sitting on my diningroom table and somehow in some corner of my mind, it feels like if I just ate some chocolate, it might make it better. LOL!! Can you believe that? Seeing it in writing makes a big difference…I guess that makes no sense at all.

Anyhow, I’m sticking to my diet. I don’t know if I’ll be having time to work out today, but I guess walking around the neighborhood might count.

So…that’s what I’ve got today. If you buddies are spiritual at all, please send a prayer my way. I know this is not a “real” problem, but it’s really upsetting to me today. Thanks for listening and sorry to be such a downer. Have a great Halloween.

Hugs,

Angie

EDIT!!

BUDDIES!! I’ve found my baby…well, my cat, Luna!! I’ve been searching the neighborhood and just found her hiding out in the neighbor’s carport! Thanks for all of your support and prayers!! It’s amazing how much better I feel now that my furbaby is home, lol!!! 

Thank goodness I didn’t binge my way through it!!

Good Morning Buddies and Happy Monday!!
Why is it happy, you ask?? Well, I had my weigh in this morning and have lost FOUR pounds!! Woo hoo!!

I’m pleased. I am so happy this is working!!

Anyway, all weekend DH and I were sort of at each other’s throats, but let me tell you, yesterday afternoon…well…we made up. And talk about afternoon delight, lol!!

I know that’s TMI, but there was something different about this time. Let me just say it was sort of like old times and it was very clear that he is noticing my progress a bit. So that’s awesome.

So I’m officially at the 19 lb lost mark…I was sorta hoping to get the 20 lb mark today but that would mean losing five pounds in one week, lol. So my goal for next week is to surpass that mark–the 20 lb mark. Shouldn’t be too hard, hopefully, since that would be two lbs (to get to the 21 lb mark) but next week TOM is scheduled to visit…sooooo….just let’s keep our fingers crossed, lol.

Anyway, I’m going to run for now. Gotta get breakfast and coffee, and do some working out…think I’m gonna do the kickboxing one again. FUN!! Just fed the three year old and before that I had to feed DH and the nine year old before getting them out the door for work and school respectively. I will be back in a bit to check on all of my amazing buddies!! I love you guys!!
Hugs,

Angie

Hey everyone,

Well…the party was amazing. The tarot reader did a couples reading for DH and I and boy did she hit home a few times!! One thing she said that was somewhat unexpected is that we might start a business together…I don’t know about that, but then again, you never know. She seemed to be pretty good at what she did.

There was all kinds of food and drink. I did pretty well on the food. I was very careful. Now, I did end up having 3 six ounce margaritas! That was not planned. However, I think I was ok because I had like 17 points left when I went to the party and I haven’t used flex points in a couple of weeks. I had a blast and I’m not going to beat myself up about the margaritas!

Anyway, I didn’t wear my belly dancer costume. This is a very…upscale crowd, to say the least, and so I felt it would be more appropriate to cover up a little more. .So I wore the red dress from last week and a tiara and called myself a princess, lol. I looked hot. Tee hee…

There was a trivia thing where the teams were divided by their astrological elements. I’m a water, and there were only four of us there. The air team included my husband, and there were like 20 of them. Then there were fire and earth teams, who each had six or seven members. Guess which team won??? MINE!! Ha. We showed them!! LOL.

Then there was a costume contest and dancing and a Samhain ritual. It was a blast. Good party. Oh! And one lady caught her hair on fire!! Can you believe that? Here I am at this fancy schmancy party, and this lady’s hair catches on fire!! The hostess had candles on the walls and the lady’s hair just got too close! I couldn’t believe it. The whole kitchen smelled of burnt hair for like two hours after that!

Now, Mary, I only attended two costume parties this year, one of which was mine, lol!! It just seems like more cuz they were two weeks in a row!

Other than that, tomorrow is my weigh in. I’m a little nervous since I had those margaritas last night, but I’m still staying postive. Three six ounce margaritas can’t be THAT bad, right?? LOL. I’m keeping my fingers crossed anyway.

So I’m off to check on all of my wonderful buddies!!
Hugs,
Angie

Happy Saturday Buddies!
I’m working really hard today to keep a positive attitude. DH is a bit (understatement) cranky today and it’s really working my nerves. However, I’ve sent him downstairs to his dungeon (office) to play his new video game so hopefully whatever crawled up his butt will crawl out…lol. Anyway, I took Cameron to soccer practice this morning and DH stayed home and helped Noah clean his room…that’s probably why he’s cranky, lol.

Now I’m procrastinating because I have some housework to do but I’d rather ignore it, lol…so I’m taking a BuddySlim/coffee break, and then I’ll crank up the tunes and dance my way through it. It always helps to improve my mood too. I’m feeling really positive about my weigh in on Monday. I’ve been working really hard and I’m hoping to see the results on the scale!!

Tonight, DH and I are going to another costume party and I’m normally very excited about this one. It’s our third (or fourth?) year going. It’s a lot of fun and it’s a real live “grown up” party. Very classy and chic. So today I’ve got to adjust my attitude a little and get my happy self on. LOL. Gotta socialize in a major way tonight. This is DH’s former boss hosting the party–they both still work for the company so she could still be good for his career–she’s just moved into a different department now.

Other than that, not much to report. The diet is going great today. I’m keeping points low during the day in anticipation for the party–although I have no plans to overeat. Still, I would rather be safe than sorry, lol. I’m planning on talking more than eating, lol…and they’re having a tarot card reader. That’s always fun.

I hope all of you are having great weekends. I’m going to check on all of my wonderful buddies now, and I’ll talk to you all soon.
Hugs,

Angie

Hey Buddies,

So I’m blogging late today…

It’s raining here and I just got back from running all of my errands with Noah (my 3 year old). Fun fun fun. I don’t really mind much, but the baseball fans of the world might. I’m in St. Louis and it looks like there won’t be a game tonight if this keeps up. Game 4 was already delayed a day because of rain…people won’t be happy, let me tell you!!

Anyway, tomorrow night, DH and I have another costume party to go to. I’ve decided I am not going to have anything to drink except for water or coffee and that I’ll only eat fruits or veggies. I’m going to have a bit of soup before we go so I won’t be starving. Not that I’m too worried about it because I’ve been controlling myself well lately, but I feel like that is because I’ve become a major planner. Whether it’s meals at home or meals out or even parties, I am planning exactly what I’ll have. It’s a handy and effective tool and takes away the need to make last minute decisions when I’m hungry.

I tried a kickboxing video. Now, I didn’t think I’d like it because I’m a very girly girl (as if you hadn’t guessed, lol), but guess what? It was so fun! Okay, I probably looked like a fool, but I did (most) of it. I’m not so graceful in that area but I sure gave it the old college try, lol…I think I’m going to do it a couple of more times too. I love the idea of switching up workouts every day and DVDs really give me that freedom. Plus I’m walking on certain evenings w/ my boys.

Anyway, I guess it’s about time that I go check in with all of my wonderful buddies!! Thanks for all of your support everyone. I know that there is no way I would be doing this successfully without you guys and I am so grateful! Thank you!!

Hugs,

Angie

Hey Buddies,

Last night I watched the Biggest Loser. I know there are lots of negatives to that show, but I’ll tell you, I’d so love to go be on it, lol. Too bad I don’t have time to leave my house for several months.

However, the idea is great. I wish I had someone near me who could (would!) exercise with me. I think it would be easier that way. When I was in college, I dated a guy in my apartment building who just got out of the Army (hottie!!). Anyway, I was a couple of pounds overweight at the time (literally…) and so we started working out together. It was great. I dumped that guy awhile later, lol…but not because of the working out.

Now, my DH always says he wants to do it, but he’s got all these conditions. We have to join a gym, the weather has to be good…the sun has to be at exactly a 45 degree angle…you know, all kinds of really logical stuff, lol…

My friends sometimes say they want to do it, but it never happens. And I don’t blame them.

So I’m on my own. Well…along with Noah, my three year old. But I’m not going to get upset about it. The circumstances are what they are. I am thinking that morning is going to be the best time for my “formal” exercise, right after I put Cameron (my nine year old) on the bus.

I think at that time, I’m going to do a workout video. Maybe a different one each week. I’ve got several of my own, plus my cable offers on demand videos so I can change up pretty often. Then I’m going to start going for a walk later in the day, either after dinner or while I wait for Cameron to finish at one of his many activities.

That’s what I’m thinking anyway.

One more thing, has anyone ever used a Gazelle or similar machine? I was thinking of asking for one for xmas and wanted to see what everyone thinks. Does it fold up at all? Is it effective? Any thoughts?

Thanks.

Okay, I’m off for now. Talk to you all soon!! Hugs,

Angie

Hey Buddies,

Well, today DH conned me into going to lunch with him at Applebees. I’m happy to report, though, that I had a WW item that only cost me 7 points, along with a glass of tea–”unsweet” tea, as they say in St. Louis. (It means without sugar.) So I did really well, even though DH was trying to coax me into eating appetizers, lol…

I know he means well, and this would have really bothered me before. He even said something to the effect of, “Don’t you feel deprived?” (Not exactly that, but that was what he meant!) So I told him that I had to make choices, that I had to decide what I really wanted (thanks Dan!)–and that what I really wanted was to get healthy. The sandwich and fruit that I had was delicious and very flavorful. I did NOT feel deprived, I actually felt very proud of myself for making good choices.

Buddies, I’m actually GETTING it, finally, for the first time in my life. This is not a quick fix–this is not something I’m doing to punish myself for being fat. This is something I’m doing FOR myself because I WANT to do it. Woo hoo.

Anyway, I snuck a peek at the scale and it looks like I may have lost a little more, but I try not to really notice (lol) until my official weigh in on Monday.

Now I think my next hurdle in this journey to health needs to be getting more serious about my exercise. I really need to come up with a real and workable routine. Jhonica is such an inspiration to me, as so many of you are, with the determination and focus. I need to start focusing on that part more, because I think it will speed things up as well as help me to feel better. I will be working on this for the next few days, trying to make something work. This is my goal for the week–to get a focused and consistent exercise program going. I mean, I do exercise now but I don’t feel like I’m working to my full potential or often enough. And since I’ve finally figured out this eating thing, I feel like I’m ready to take the next step. Of course, I’ll still need to stay focused on the eating thing, but I’ve been doing it almost on autopilot for a couple of weeks now-without feeling deprived-so I think I’m ready for the next step.

Okay, enough babbling!! LOL. Thanks for all of your support Buddies!!
Hugs,

Angie

Dangit.

I wrote this really long and heartfelt blog, and the dang site deleted it!! Okay, so I’m going to summarize.

First, I’ve finally stopped late night snacking, and I think for good this time. Basically, what I used to do was to save up points so I could have a snack after the kids went to bed. Then one night last week, I was thinking about having a WW dessert (my typical snack at night). Well, this got me on the idea of the fact that for the first time ever; I’m losing weight in a healthy way. I’ve changed internally and for that reason, I’m no longer feeling deprived when I make healthy choices—because these are my choices, no one is forcing me and I’m not forcing myself. I’ve given myself the option—get healthy or stay this way. I want to get healthy. I want to see those numbers coming down. So, I thought about Jhonica’s quote: nothing tastes as good as thin feels…then Erika’s version: nothing tastes as good as healthy feels. Then I thought about Dan…what do I REALLY want? Well. I really, really want to be healthy.

So that night, I didn’t eat that dessert, even though I could have done it and stayed OP. And guess what? I didn’t feel deprived, I felt empowered! So, now when I have these urges, I just take myself back to that place. What do I really want?

Then I thought about Mary. Don’t let a little slip ruin your trip. This philosophy is what has kept me going thus far, because I have made a couple of slips, but instead of giving up as I’ve done in the past, I just got back on track.

That is because of my buddies here and of course Dr. Marc for creating this site. THANK YOU ALL!!

Now this brings me to my next point. I have hidden my ticker. Now, I noticed a couple of weeks ago that my buddies could see it, and I freaked. I thought only I could see it. So immediately, I went in and hid it, hoping no one would remember what they saw. Only my doctor and one or two others know how much I weigh, and they only found out by accident (except the doc, lol). So, I’m ashamed of how I’ve let myself get. I started BuddySlim weighing more than I ever have in my entire life—including both of my pregnancies—and I was NOT pregnant then. I kept thinking, oh, when I lose 20 more pounds (or 50 or 100) then I’ll show the ticker just so they can see how far I’ve come.

Well…without you guys, I wouldn’t have had these internal changes-which are what is actually causing me to really DO it this time, and to really GET it. For the first time in my life, I am doing it in a healthy and real way that I can continue indefinitely. It’s not some crazy fad thing or some thing I can die from. It’s healthy and real and I’m proud of myself for finally GETTING it.

So I think it’s time to be honest. I started BuddySlim weighing 265 pounds. That’s right. And I’m five feet tall. Now I’m about 248, but my ticker still says 250 because I only weigh officially on Mondays. And I’m going to post my ticker for the world to see…well, the BuddySlim world anyway. This way, I’m accountable to and honest with you all, as well as myself. I think it’s the next step on my journey of internal changes. Accountability.

So here it is. Thank you all so much for your support and for helping me be brave enough to do this. I am fighting the urge to delete this and call it a day…but I’m not going to do it…

Thanks so much again for everything.

Hugs,
Angie

Hey Buddies,

Well…I had my weigh in this morning and I stayed the same. Thing is, I think it may be because I drank too much this weekend. Well…Friday night at the wedding I had a margarita and then Saturday at our party I had…well…a lot of margaritas…and several sips of other stuff. I did great on the food part though…

Other than that, our party was a huge success. We had SO many people in our house…and let me tell you, I have never seen my kitchen floor as dirty as it was when I woke up Sunday morning!! I spent all day Sunday de-funking my house after all those people were here. But now it’s nice and clean and I guess it was worth it because more than half of our guests called the next day to say how much fun they had–the other half is probably still hung over, LOL!!

Anyway, this is the one official “grown up” party that we do every year without fail–and the one time per year that I really drink. Other than that, I might have a margarita once every few months if given the opportunity. I most often choose a good coffee over alcohol..lol. I know, I’m SO wild…

So how was everyone’s weekend??

I’ve got all kinds of really philosophical things to blog about but I figure I’ll save it for tomorrow…I just laid Noah down for his nap and I want to get some things done before he wakes. Plus I need to go check on all of you!

Thanks for all of your support!!
Hugs,

Angie

OMG, buddies, you’re not going to BELIEVE what happened at my friend’s wedding today. Since we put the wedding together in three days, some things weren’t planned. Well…originally we were having the reception at the bride (Melina)’s mom’s house, but the day before, her dad rented her a banquet room at a restaurant. This restaurant had a bar. Well, anyway, at some point, I went to the bar tender/manager and asked him to play a slow song for the couple to dance their first dance to. I also talked to a bunch of girls at the bar (because you know I’ll talk to anyone who doesn’t run away, lol). During this time, this guy came up to me and was trying to talk to me, but I was busy and sort of ignored him. Well…after their dance, I went up awhile later and asked him to play another song so they could dance w/ their parents. At that time, the guy told me I looked beautiful in the dress I was wearing (photo posted in my pics section here on Buddy Slim). I said thanks and went back to the party. Then later, the bride, another friend, and I walked through the bar to the bathroom. The guy eyed me up and smiled as we walked through, and I smiled and kept moving. Then on the way back, he followed me into the banquet room, where I went and sat next to my husband, who put his arm around me.

Awhile after that, my husband went to the bathroom and was gone quite awhile. Then he comes back and says this guy asked him if he was with the wedding party. Bill (my husband) said he was and the guy asked him if he knew the girl in the red dress. I was the only one in the whole place in a red dress. The guy says, “Man, she’s hot.” So Bill says, “Yeah, she’s smokin.” Then the guy says, “I went in there and tried to dance with her but I didn’t know if I was supposed to go in there. Do you think I could go back there and dance with her?” So Bill’s like, “I don’t think they’re playing any music in there now, dude.” So then the guy keeps on for awhile, and finally Bill’s like, “Yeah, that’s my wife.”

LOL!! Can you believe that??? Isn’t that the best thing you’ve heard all day?? What an ego boost that was!!

So I told Bill not to forget how hot his wife is…lol…

AND, when Bill and I danced (even before “the event”), he was being all romantic and stuff…so sweet… When I walked into the gazebo where the wedding was, he told me right there that I looked beautiful…and the night went on from there. ~~sigh~~ It was amazing. I felt like the prom queen, LOL!! And, the wedding was lovely. Melina looked beautiful (she’s in the pic I posted too!!) and Steve (her now husband) was so sweet. He looked like he was gonna cry when he said his vows…awwww…

So overall, the wedding was a GREAT experience!!! Woo hoo!!

And I stayed OP, except that I had a strawberry margarita…a really big one…But it was good and I’m ok with it.

Thanks for all of your support buddies!!
Hugs,
Angie