Angie’s Journey…

Buddies,

Ok…well..I just blogged this looong blog telling you all about my lack of ability to log on due to site issues, etc…and all kinds of other good stuff..and now it’s gone! What?? I don’t want to blog too long this time incase it happens again, so I’ll just tell you the highlights:

Since my last BS weigh in, I’ve lost 8 more lbs, bringing my grand total so far to 29 lbs!! WOO HOO!!

And thanks to all of you Buddies for all of your support…I’ll blog more tomorrow and will try to catch up on everyone’s blogs over the next day or so. And thanks to Dr. Marc for the site.

I’ve missed you all so much! So glad we’re back online!
Hugs,

Angie

Hey Buddies…

Okay…so first let me tell you that TOM finally decided to show up–like 12 days late!! But that’s ok, he showed up, and I never thought I’d be happy to see him, lol…but I sure was.

Second, I gotta tell you what my kid said the other night at dinner. My son Cameron (he’s 9) and my husband were arguing over condiments (lol). It was the most ridiculou argument I’d ever heard, lol…DH told Cameron that he couldn’t have pepper anymore because he always wanted to put it on before tasting the food that his mother (me, lol) worked so hard on. So Cameron sits there thinking about it and then looks at his father and says, “Dad, you know what this is like? This is like an Intolerable Act.” So I’m like, ohhhh noooo, here we go.

DH is like, “What do you mean?” So Cameron proceeds to tell the story of the Boston Tea Party and to explain how the unreasonable laws forced on the early Americans by the British were the reason for it (ie Intolerable Acts). And then he tells us how this is a similar situation because DH’s rule about the pepper was completely out of line and unreasonable.

DH, for the first time maybe ever, was at a loss for words!!! I was shocked!

So, he looks at me for help. I turn and look at my son and say (drum roll please):

“You are the coolest kid I have ever met in my entire life!”

And I was not even kidding. I told him how smart he was to connect those two issues and that he might just need to join the debate team or something when he was older. I was SO impressed and so proud of him. I mean, I knew he was smart but what an amazing connection and a valid point that he made!! And at only 9 years old! Woo hoo!

Even DH had to agree that it was a smart agrument. LOL.

Ok, enough Mommy bragging, lol. It was just so dang funny and so unexpected. I loved it.

Third, I am doing well on staying OP. I have been insanely busy these last few days and I gotta find balance. I am missing my buddies and need to get back on track here. Otherwise, I don’t know that I’ll be sticking with it as well as I have been. You guys have been my strength and I don’t know what I’d do without you. I am going to commit to blogging daily again and of course checking on all of each day. I sometimes forget to put myself in my list of priorities and coming here to buddy slim is one of those things that I do for ME, not just for my health, but also for my sanity and for my wonderful friends and buddies. So listen up buddies: help me to stay in line!! If I don’t get on here every day, kick my butt. LOL. But I am serious about re committing myself, because it’s not only for you all, but also for ME. I have been so much more emotionally healthy and physically healthy since being here. I have even come to terms with my relationship w/ my mother, and realized that I’m never going to have a normal relationship w/ her. I won’t go into that now, but it took 31 years for me to recognize that.

So thanks again buddies for being there for me. I wouldn’t be where I am without you all.
Hugs,

Angie

BUDDIES! I have exciting news, lol…I put on this pair of pants that I haven’t worn in awhile today and guess what…you won’t believe it…I hope you’re sitting down…are you ready for this???

I can pull them up and down WITHOUT UNBUTTONING THEM!!!!!! WOO HOO!!

So, I’m obviously happy today, lol…I wasn’t smart enough to measure myself before, but this is a pretty good indicator that I am doing something right!!! Woo hoo!!

I’ve been totally OP today and all week, so this is good…I’m looking for a loss next weigh in! Woooooo hoooo….oh, and did I say, woooo hoooo??? LOL.

Other than that, things are busy as usual. I’m doing some laundry (ick) today and other housework type stuff. I’ve been running up and down the stairs all day with the laundry, so there’s a good workout, lol…

Tonight is the first night in a long time that we have “off” from activities, so I plan to have taco night for the family and we’re just going to snuggle down together and watch kid movies. The boys love that. And for me–I just use whole grain tortillas instead of regular and do portion control w/ the tacos…I skip the cheese and sour cream and yum…

Anyway, I’ll talk to you all soon…thanks for being here for me. Oh, and did I say, WOO HOO!!

LOL.

Have a wonderful evening Buddies!!
Hugs,

Angie

Hi Buddies!
I feel like I haven’t written in forever. Anyway, I’ve been dealing with a bit of depression but I think things are ok. I feel just a bit overwhelmed. Still, I’m working very hard to stay positive. DH is sick and being a big fat baby, lol, and I’m feeling the ick a little too but am trying to feel better. I just now remembered, I have echinecea and vitamin c in the cabinet. I’ll have to take some…it usually helps.

Anyway, Sunday we all four got out and raked leaves (man did we have a lot!) and our yard looks so much better for it. I smacked myself in the face with the rake, lol…because it broke. Can we say KLUTZ, lol….

Yesterday was pretty normal except that it seems like whenever I don’t feel well, my boys crank up the crazy a few notches, lol. But that’s ok too. I know one day, I’ll miss the crazy, when they’re adults with crazies, I mean kids, of their own…

I’ve been OP but haven’t been getting enough exercise. I maintained my weight this week, instead of losing. BUT I’m not beating myself up because it’ sbetter than gaining. However, it does motivate me to get off my BUTT so I can lose more…since I’ve still got LOTS to lose.

OH, and TOM still has not visited. I’m guessing I’m just going to miss it this month. Oh well…I guess? I am just trying to forget about it, so after this I’m dropping the subject unless he shows. LOL.

I want to thank you all for being here for me and to again apologize for missing a couple of days there. I’ve been working on getting to everyone’s blogs and will continue to do so until I am completely caught up. I guess I just sorta let life overwhelm me for a few minutes. But if nothing else, I’ve got to make time for BuddySlim because you all help me to keep my head on straight! So thank you again and please do accept my apologies.Love you guys!!

Have a wonderful day everyone!
Hugs,

Angie

Hey Buddies,

First, let me say THANK GOODNESS! I’m SOOOOOO glad BS is back up! I thought I would die, lol!

Second, regarding TOM. I am still a bit stressed, but I just did some research on the internet about it and found out that it’s fairly common to miss a period and that you don’t even need to go to the doc unless you miss three (or have excessive troublesome symptoms). So, I am going to try REALLY hard to just forget about this.

DH came home from lunch today and I was really down. Have been all week, not my normal sweet self, lol. I’ve been really moody and terribly irritable. This is not normal for me. So we discussed this and agreed that I need to get off my butt and DO something. I need to force myself to move and I’m hoping that will change my attitude/mood/hormone levels, lol. Buddies, I have been feeling SO bitchy, lol…I am just NOT myself. Usually, I’m not openly bitchy, lol. Even my friends are like, what the hell is wrong w/ you?? LOL. (They do understand, but they’re letting me know that I’m not myself.)

SOOO…my goal for today is to get moving. A lot. Even though I feel like sleeping for a year or so…lol.

Last night I took Cameron to boy scouts and walked around while I waited for him, and then we all had to sing this silly song which involved dancing (LOL!). It was actually a good mood booster, so I’m just going to get moving today and PRETEND that I’m in a good mood, then eventually I will be. LOL. I really believe in that whole fake it till ya make it thing.

On a side note, I am SO bloated that I can’t stand myself, lol. At the moment, I’m going to consider this a good sign that TOM is going to visit. At least, that’s what I’m going to pretend until I believe it, lol.

So thanks for listening to my rambling today buddies. I am sorry for being so negative, I don’t normally like to be that way. I appreciate your support so much! Thank yoU!

I’m off to check on your blogs…
Hugs,

Angie

Hey buddies!
I’m blogging late today for a very embarrassing reason. My friend introduced me to this online game. I am NOT a gamer by nature, and in fact, quite detest most games. BUT this game is SOOO addicting. It’s called Second Life. Think SIMS with waaaaay more freedom and free will. Good lord, I gotta quit, lol…

So that’s not a good thing. It seems that I need to UNload that thing from my computer, lol.

Other than that, things are ok. I am still OP, however, TOM hasn’t bothered to show up yet. This makes me six days late–later than I’ve ever been (without being pregnant.). This is damn frustrating, buddies. I just wish he’d show up already.

I have not been exercising much at all this week. Been really tired and lazy…no excuses, though. I have to take Cameron to his scout meeting tonight, so I think I will walk the parking lot while I wait for him. That sounds like a good way to get moving again. Then tomorrow, I’ll work out for real. I don’t know what my problem is this week. But at least I’m OP with my eating, lol…

I gotta tell you, buddies, this TOM thing is REALLY stressing me out. You see, I took a test yesterday morning and it was negative. So I’m not preggers–probably. And, since I am not 100% sure that I’m not with child, I’m all paranoid about certain things. Sigh…and if it’s not pregnancy, then it might be something really bad. And…of course, I don’t want it to be anything bad. The other issue is that I have reached the maximum for the year on my stupid worthless health insurance, so I can’t even go to the doctor. Well…I can but I’ll have to pay out of pocket. So if I HAVE to go, I will…I’m just hoping that TOM shows up in the next day or so so I won’t have to. Poop..and and and…and I just don’t know…

Okay, anyway. I didn’t mean to get all down. I just am very concerned about this. I will be fine if I’m preggers and I will be fine if I’m not. I just want to KNOW. I HATE limbo. I really, really do.

Thanks for listening buddies. Have a wonderful night.

Hugs,

Angie

Hey Buddies,

First, I’m still OP and still have no TOM yet. I took an EPT this morning and it was negative…SOOOO, I’m guessing my cycle is just off for some reason.

Second, I wanted to tell you more specifically what I meant when I said “the real me” was coming back. I meant that in my every day life, I’ve become almost trained to be more concerned about others than myself. Now, as a mother, this is necessary, but  I’m forgetting to notice myself much at all. YES, the me that you all know is really me…but the me that others have been seeing is well…less me. Yes, it’s a PART of who I am, but I haven’t been having as much fun as I normally do and I haven’t been as sexy (I know)  as usual. The weight gain has caused me to wear bigger clothes–baggier…but that’s not the only thing I’m talking about. My personality has mellowed a lot and even though there are good parts to it, there are parts that make me feel like I’m not even alive. I guess that is more confusing than what I said yesterday. What I mean is that I’m typically a really bubbly and fun person, and lately I’ve noticed that I’m not so much that way. The night of my friend’s wedding (remember when I told you that some dude asked my DH who the hottie in the red dress was–and it was me??) I was more myself than I had been in a long time, and I LOVED it. Not just because of that incident (although it helped!!) but also because I was out there, enjoying life, being MEEEEE. So, that’s what I meant. This process of self discovery is awesome and sometimes painful, but I don’t know that I could be doing it as effectively without you all. Do you see what I’m saying? It really is like getting therapy, both through blogging and through reading your blogs, I find myself realizing things about myself that I hadn’t taken note of before.

So thank you all for that.

Tonight I am going to (hopefully) take it a little easy and get some more things done around the house. Nothing much there, lol…

Anyway, I’m going to continue to work hard on my weight loss goals, as well as my “me” goals. I like the person I used to be and I like the person I am now. I just want to make the two sort of fuse so I can be even better, lol…I know that sounds nuts, but I’m betting that many of you GET what I’m saying.

Thanks again for all of your support!!
Hugs,
Angie

Hey Buddies!
Well…nothing much to report today. I’m OP but haven’t worked out yet. I was up late last night and am pretty dang exhausted. Cameron is off school today for Election Day so we’re deep cleaning the house. He’s a great helper–whether it’s actual helping or even just entertaining his little brother so I can get stuff done–he’s awesome! They’re both great kids.

Speaking of kids, TOM still hasn’t arrived yet but I’m having some strange sensations in my abdominal area so it could be on the way…I’m hoping anyway. DH and I wouldn’t mind another baby but I’d hoped to lose some more weight before getting pregnant again.

Another interesting thing that occurred to me the other day…I recently dyed my hair back to it’s natural color–well as close to that as I could guess anyway, lol…so the thing is that for literally YEARS (since I was 12) I’ve been dying my hair all different colors–anything other than the dark brown it is naturally. So I’ve also been trying really hard to sort of ignore “me” if that makes any sense at all…I know what I’m talking about anyway…lol. So in dying my hair back to the natural color, it was sort of a symbolic thing–because now I’m trying to get back to basics, to discover who I actually am. Does that make sense? Like lately I’ve bent my ways to accommodate everyone around me–and I told DH the other night that the real me is BACK in a big way. So I’m going to be me, really me–not some preconceived notion of what someone else (read: my mother, my DH, anyone else) thinks I should be. SO–get ready buddies, lol…I’m BACK. LOL.

Anyway, I may expand on that concept later–I’m having a little trouble expressing myself because of this fatigue and slight brain fog I’m dealing with att the moment.

So thanks Buddies for all of your support. I’ll be on in awhile to check on your blogs!!
Hugs,
Angie

Hey Buddies,

I’ve got GREAT news this morning, and also nervous news, lol…

The great news is that I met the goal I set for this week and lost TWO POUNDS!! WOO HOO! I have a lot more to go, but now I’ve lost a total of 21 lbs. That’s a good place to be.

Other than that, TOM still HAS NOT ARRIVED. Some of the comments yesterday were “don’t worry, he’ll go away soon.” Well, I’d be fine if he would just SHOW UP–I’m LATE! I should have started on November 3 and now it’s the 6th…

BUT, I do tend to have scares that turn into nothing on occasion, soooo…that’s what I’m going with. Yeah, that’s the ticket…lol…

So, there’s my news for today, lol….TOM is late and I’ve lost 2 more pounds. LOL.

Have a great day everyone!
Hugs,

Angie

Hey Buddies,

Well, my Sunday wake up was not fun, lol…DH woke up in one of those “moods”, but guess what? Instead of my getting all upset and feeding his crap, I went in and took a bath, all the while calming myself down. Then I DECIDED that I would NOT let myself get upset, no matter how he tried. I visualized him and I sparring with boxing gloves, lol..and decided I was going to win this one, peacefully and without conflict. And guess what, I DID IT!! That’s a huge accomplishment, because every now and again, DH wakes up in a bitchy mood (usually on a Sat or Sun) and the whole house has to deal with it. By my not aruging with him and feeding the beast (no matter how hard he tried to make me argue!!), it’s over and all is well. GO ME!!

Other than that, I’m doing really well today. Staying totally OP, maybe even a little low, and getting it done. Woo hoo. I’m getting ready to go run errands in a few minutes and later will do some workout stuff. Thinking of taking Cameron (oldest son) w/ me and leaving Noah (youngest) with Daddy. Less stress that way, lol.

Oh, and another woo hoo moment–I looked in the mirror today and I think my face is thinning out a bit. WOO HOO! My second chin seems to be smaller, lol!! Well…you know what I’m talking about, lol…

OH! And tomorrow is weigh in. I’m a little nervous about it since TOM should be here and is not yet (shut up Mary!! LOL!), so I think I might be carrying water weight a bit…let’s hope that’s all I’m carrying, lol..

So I hope you are all enjoying your Sunday!! Take care and I’ll talk to you all soon!
Hugs,

Angie