Angie’s Journey…

Hey buddies, I have come to a decision. This is a decision that I consider somewhat momentous, lol, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for awhile now. Each year, we host a Halloween party at which we get dressed up in full costumes and have a bunch of guests. We bring in a DJ and karaoke, and it’s a big deal. Our friends look forward to it each year.

So, and I know this is silly, but each year, I do my best to be a little bit…well…sexy. I can’t help it…I mean, Halloween is the one time a year that my “inner stripper” can come out. LOL. I mean…for the rest of the year, I’m “MOM”…soccer mom, scout mom, PTA mom, room mom…preschool mom…you know. Cameron, Noah, and Sophia’s mom. But on Halloween, I kinda feel like I can let it all hang out lol. Before I was a mom, I was sexy…and since I’ve gained all this weight, of course I feel much less sexy, but I’m very lucky in that my hubby still finds me quite hot even in my current condition. I only want to feel good about myself, as well as to get healthier. But I digress…

The point of this blog is to put it in writing, to say it “out loud” to all of you, my buddies. I feel like doing this will cement the deal so to speak. So here I go…

There are thirty five weeks between now and Halloween. If I lose two pounds per week until then, I will have lost seventy pounds…which will bring me to 165 pounds. Now…I know that by society’s standards, that’s not great, especially on my five foot frame…BUT I also know that once upon a time, I was right around that weight and quite popular with the boys. LOL. Soooo, my goal is to reach 165 pounds–a 70 pound loss from now (and a total of a 100 pound loss) by Halloween. AND I want to wear the sexiest costume my body can muster LOL!!

I know it’s lofty buddies…I know it’s a huge goal to shoot for….but I think I can do it. I really do. I will, of course, need all the support I can get. And I will still need to lose more afterward in order to get to my goal weight. BUT…I think this will motivate me enough to actually push ahead and get this done.

And on another note, it will help me to move forward on this longer term plan…to be a mom that my kids can be proud of…a mom who’s THERE for them, and not in an early grave due to the complications of being overweight. Ok, before I start crying, I’m off. Thanks for listening buddies!! Have a healthy day!! xoxo

Well buddies, over the weekend, I made some discoveries about my weight loss (or lack thereof) and have made some choices about my habits. I am, starting today, actively working on stopping bad habits (i.e. things that are causing me to avoid losing weight), and I’m going to work on replacing them with better ones.

The weekend was ok food wise, except that on Saturday I attended a baby shower for my cousin’s already born (preemie) son. There was cake….and I ate some. Even though I could’ve remained OP and still had a small piece of cake, I later had another because my grandma was kind enough to send some home with me. LOL. Not her fault, totally mine.

Anyway…other than that…nothing much to report. I will be focusing on changing my ways this week, changing those little things I do that make me lose control  with the eating thing. My motto this week is going to be: NEVER LOSE CONTROL!!

Have a wonderful Monday, y’all!

Morning buddies…so I have some lists to make today lol. First, I want to blog it out…why do I want to lose weight?

1. To look hot. (I know it’s shallow, but let’s face it, it’s TRUE LOL!!)

2. To be able to get healthy again, thus being around (and being a better mother to) my children.

3. To feel better, physically and mentally. Increase my self confidence and physical health.

4. To make my children proud of me. And on a similar note, to provide a good healthy example to them, especially to my daughter.

I’m sure there are more reasons, but these are the ones I’m going with today. LOL.

Reasons I should stay fat? Only one…it’s less work. It requires no changes. I could also make a massive list of reasons NOT to stay fat…and y’ll know what they are.

None of this matters though, unless I get my body to agree with my brain that it’s too fat, right? Well I think it all starts in the head and works it’s way down. Motivation seems to come in waves for me right now, and I think one other thing I can do to help things along would be to remember to PLAN things. I notice when I am low on groceries and when I don’t plan my meals in advance, I don’t do as well. I guess this goes along with what y’all said yesterday about writing things down BEFORE I eat them. And pre Sophie (my 3 month old daughter), I did just that. So it’s time for me to get back on track. Again. I’m trying to maintain a positive attitude here, but I’m getting really frustrated with myself for being such a dumbass. LOL. I mean, LOGICALLY I know how to do this. Then why do I find myself struggling so hard?? I must get in control. Never lose control…that was my motto back in college. Maybe I need to focus on that for awhile.

Ok, I know what I need to do…but why am I still feeling weak?? Ack.

I’m going to get positive folks…I swear it. I just have to straighten my brain out. I know that I want this, really badly. I know how to do it…and I have some clues as to why I’m sabotaging myself so often. Skinny brain, where are you?? LOL! What do y’all do if you’re about to fall? What works for you to distract yourself long enough to avoid eating whatever crap you’re considering? Maybe I need some new tips lol…

Anyway, I’ve babbled long enough. Hope y’all are having a wonderful day! Hugs!

Hey Buddies, good morning. I would like to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. LOL. I have had some serious struggles in the last few days with self sabotage. For example, I’ll do great all day, staying OP, and then evening comes…and BOOM! I eat some crap I shouldn’t. I KNOW that this will stall my weight loss, I KNOW this is unhealthy and NOT what I should be doing…but STILL I make the CHOICE to put that crap in my body.

So am I just being lazy and not caring? Maybe. I always tell myself, I’ll get back on track RIGHT AFTER THIS. Or tomorrow morning…or Monday…blah blah. You get the idea. Now, I am nursing a baby, but that should be no excuse. I am following the WW for Nursing Moms and there are MORE than enough points there. I think honestly part of the problem is that I’m doing my points in my  head again…I mean that I’m not writing anything down any longer. So…maybe I’ve answered my own question huh? Maybe I need to start writing down my points again. (Anyone wanna slap my forehead here?? What the heck is my problem??)

So…here I go. List time…these are some key points I need to follow.

1. WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING I EAT, and I do mean everything.

2. Stick to the water thing…drink at least 80 oz per day (a few extra since I’m nursing).

3. Quit beating myself up, just a lil.

4. Get moving!!

5. Daily blogging couldn’t hurt either…

Anyway, I’m going to do everything I can to avoid sabotaging myself today. Maybe I need to focus on just today…and not my whole life. One day at a time as the saying goes…so on to the day.  Someone’s blog said something about focusing on the JOURNEY and not the end destination. So that’s what I’m doing today… Hope you’re all doing well!! Hugs@@

Hey buddies, as I’ve been struggling hard with trying to stay OP, an old familiar thought flowed through my head last night. It occurred to me that maybe I should just give up, just “decide” to be happy with my body as it is. Now bear with me here…

I envisioned myself happily buying all sorts of expensive “stylish” plus sized clothing and pretending to be one of those women who can truly be happy in that size. But then…I asked myself, if this is truly what I want, why  have I continued for all these years to try to get healthy? If I truly want to “stay fat”, then why do I keep trying to lose weight?? Clearly, it’s NOT what I want, so I need to really take a look at  myself now.

I begin to wonder, why then is it so hard for me to stay OP right now? It’s not that I’m eating too much…but there are certain events and times of the day when I feel like going crazy. Before I had the baby, I was doing great, had it figured out. I was OP almost every day, and if I slipped, I didn’t fall off plan for the entire day.

So now I want to continue this…but life calls. Back later.

Well buddies, it seems that for the first time since I gave birth 13 weeks ago, TOM is trying to visit me. I have two pimples and I am freaking starving all day lol. I may not actually see TOM because I’m nursing, but I’m certainly getting the symptoms. I’m trying like crazy not to eat everything in sight lol!! I’m drinking lots of water and trying to maintain some level of control…even as I type this my tummy is growling lol…and I just ate a WW muffin, so I should NOT be hungry. I think maybe it’s that whole protein thing…I should eat some protein. But I’ll wait for now. Don’t wanna over do it lol.

Anyone have any tips for this insane hunger thing? Could it be the fact that I’m nursing? Or am I just making freaking excuses?? LOL!!

Hope y’all are having a good day! Hugs!

Well Buddies, I did not lose any weight this week, but I am not deterred, because I did not gain any either. I stayed the same, and I’m ok with it, and more determined than ever. I lost four last week, which was pretty significant, and I slacked a bit this week lol. So I’ve finally gone back to basics on a couple of things. One, before I had the baby, some of you might remember that I used to make myself drink a glass of water each time I went into the kitchen, along with sipping it throughout the day. So I’ve started that again. I drink an 8 ounce glass of water each time I go into the kitchen and do ten pushups lol. Sounds like nothing, but it’s something. And you would not believe the energy boost it gives me!

Last week I watched this show on Oprah called “Does this clutter make my butt look fat?” LOL. So earlier this week I called up the garbage company and arranged for a big pick up, and I got rid of a LOT of stuff. That inspired me to do some major cleaning and organizing, and guess what? I feel lighter already! I want to keep the flow going, because this feels GREAT! So I’m going to keep doing my pushups and each day this week I’m going to try a different work out, so that I can keep the energy up.

I’m also working hard to stay OP and I am going to EXPECT to see a loss next week. Even one pound would be good…after all I’m not technically supposed to be losing more than a pound a week while I’m nursing lol.

So I hope y’all are having a wonderful day! Hugs Buddies, and thanks for all your support!!

Hey buddies, well I swear, even as I type this, I’m doing like fifteen other things lol, I’m not even kidding. Some one once told me that having three (or more) kids was not any more difficult than having two, and I’m here to tell you that person was full of SH*T!! Forgive my language here…but y’all know what I’m talking about. I can’t believe how incredibly insanely busy I feel sometimes lol! But I love these little people and wouldn’t trade them for anything. They certainly make my life full. LOL.

On the flip side, though, goes me…sometimes, well often actually, I find myself forgetting to take care of ME. And while that may be a common mommy problem, I’ve learned the hard way that not taking care of myself means that I’m not the best me (thereby, not the best mommy) that I can be. SOoooo, in a way, by not taking care of ME, I am doing my family a bit of a disservice. Right? Ok, that’s what I’m going with anyway…I truly believe it.

Sigh.

Just now I had to stop blogging so that I could break up an arguement between my two boys…one called the other “Butt-butt”, which apparently is a fairly offensive term lol.

My point is, being a mom to two amazing boys and one incredible baby girl does not excuse me from taking care of myself. And buddies, whatever you are, whether it’s a mom, a dad, an employee, a leader, a follower…or all of the above and then some…we all have to recognize that NOTHING excuses us from taking care of ourselves.  So I will say it for me, and I will say it for you…DON’T FORGET ABOUT MEEEEE! SO my goal for the week then is to remember ME.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend! Hugs!

Angie

Well buddies, this morning I did my weekly weigh in and…I lost THREE POUNDS this week! Woo hoo! I swear, I don’t feel like I’m even on a diet lol…but hell if it’s working, I’m all for it. I still need to be focusing on my goals, though. Sooo I haven’t got much else to say, except WOOT. LOL. Hope y’all are having a good day! Hugs to everyone!

When I originally started to type the title of this post, I typed “Things I’m Doing Wrong”. I think that’s negative thinking, so I’m going to leave it as “Things I Need to be Doing Better.” Anyway…my family sort of got snowed in on Thursday night and everyone stayed home on Friday. I felt really stressed out by this for a number of reasons. Or maybe I’m just making excuses for what I’m about to tell you…I went off plan all day on Friday and Saturday, and I felt like a complete ass. So, one thing I need to be doing better is to forgive myself if I screw up, and to be stronger when faced with foods I shouldn’t be eating.

 Also, I’ve noticed that I’ve slipped with my water drinking. Even while pregnant, I constantly drank water. But since I had the baby, I’ve noticed that I don’t drink nearly as much as before, and not nearly enough. So that is thing number two I need to be doing better: drinking my water.

Thing number three, then, is to exercise more. There are a LOT of things that I could be doing more of in this arena, so I’m just going to leave it at this. Along this same line, I need to be making an effort to make myself presentable every day (I’m a SAHM so it’s not always required lol), and also need to be getting back into the swing of managing my household better. My daughter is now almost 12 weeks old (and for those who don’t know, I’ve also got ten and four year old boys), so it’s time to quit using that whole “I just had a baby” excuse. Things have to get back to normal, and I have to remember to take care of MYSELF in the process of taking care of everyone else. So…my goals for this weeks are:

1. Remember to be strong when faced with negative food options, and to remember to forgive myself and get back OP if I fail at all.

2. Drink a minimum of 64 ounces of water per day (hopefully more, since I’m nursing).

3. Get moving, physically and emotionally. Remember to take care of my own needs, but staying on top of everyone else’s also (including kids, hubby, etc).

So three is a good number lol…I just need to stay on track. Thanks for listening buddies…