Angie’s Journey…

So yesterday I wrote a post about my weigh in, and how I didn’t lose any this week. Somehow I ended up posting it as a draft instead of a post. Well, it was rather negative in tone…as I was quite frustrated that I’d stayed on track last week with diet and exercise and had somehow managed to NOT lose weight.

After that, I took my daughter and went to the mall. I had been given a mall gift certificate by the hospital when she was born, so I thought it was about time to go shopping. (She’s seven months old lol!) Good thing I held out though, because I desperately need clothes that fit.

So, I went and bought each of us a couple of pairs of shoes and myself a purse…and then I hit this clothing store. I went in and was looking for a pair of shorts or capris that actually fit since I have none. I picked up a couple of cute tshirts, and then found the perfect pair of shorts. The problem: they only had two pair left, one of which was an 18 (which are getting baggier by the day) and the other was a 14. I went and asked the salesperson if they had a 16, and of course they didn’t, so I thought I’d just try both pairs on. I figured the 18 might be a little baggy, but they’d be better than nothing. I knew the 14 wouldn’t fit, but thought I’d try them on anyway just to see if I could even get them over my hips.

Well, I hope you’re sitting down buddies. I tried the 14’s first…and…I’m wearing them now!!! They FIT!! !OMG I could NOT believe it loL!! And just so y’all know…when I zipped them up, y’all are the first people I thought of. I could not WAIT to come blog it out. LOL.

Anyway.

So I guess that even though the scale didn’t go down this week, something is happening, because this is major. The other night, after my hubby and I had been..uhm, intimate…he mentioned to me that he could see my body was tightening up (and getting more limber LOL!!). So I guess I’m happy with that. Of course I still want to see the scale moving in the right direction, but this helps me to maintain motivation.

Other than that…today I took the kids to the library, and then we met my mom for lunch at McDonalds (don’t worry, I had a salad and brought my own dressing lol!). Then we took the kids to the park for a couple of hours. It was a good day, and as I type this, dinner is simmering away.

Hope all of you are having fabulous and healthy days. Thanks for listening to my raving lol.

xoxo

Angie

Good evening Buddies. So I put a new profile photo up…in my swimsuit lol. My sister in law took it a couple of weeks ago while I was out back with the kids, and even though I’m not “there” yet, I felt like it would be a good (and relatively safe lol) dare for myself today.

So, take a peek at my photo lol…if you think I look like a sausage in a swimsuit, don’t tell me, because I don’t care LOL!! This is the lesson of the day/week/month for me: I am learning to care ONLY what I think (at least when it comes to my weight and appearance). My DH already thinks I’m hot, so it’s all about me now folks.

But on a more serious note, things are going well on the diet and exercise front. I’m a bit nervous about tomorrow’s weigh in because like I said, things aren’t moving along as quickly as I’d hoped. Still, they’re moving in the right direction and that’s what really matters.

DH’s friends just came over to visit him and they stood in the kitchen with me talking for a few minutes before they joined DH in the den. They went on for about fifteen minutes about how good I’m looking, and telling me to “keep it up.” One of them said he could see shape where he couldn’t before…and then (get ready buddies, this is good…) he said, “Bill might lose his wife!” LMAO. Then he came over and put his arm around me lol.

What an ego booster. Now, of course, I would never in a million years go there. I love my hubby. And his friend wouldn’t go there either–they’ve been friends for years. But it sure felt great to have his pal give me such a compliment.

Annnnywayyy….

Hope y’all are having a fabulous weekend!! I’m loving life…and these compliments I’m getting are certainly pushing me to move forward on this whole new me plan. WOOT WOOT.

xoxo

Angie

LOL. Ok, not really.

Hey buddies, how’s everyone today? I’m doing great. So, working out every day is giving me a huge new amount of energy, and this whole “self discovery”, reinvention thing I’m going through is awesome. I accidentally bought the Carmen Electra striptease video last year. (I lost the DVD when it came from Netflix, and then paid for it.) I never even looked at it until the other day–when I was trying to work out. I was disappointed that it wasn’t more of a “work out”. In fact, it is more of a teaching video. I mean, yes, one can work up a bit of a sweat, but I certainly wouldn’t call it cardio. Even so, after my initial disappointment, I decided to try it out during a NON work out time. Meaning, I wanted to learn the dances. Looking at it as an instructional video, I found it AWESOME. I got my groove on. Sure, I didn’t look as sexy as Carmen and her cohorts, but the only person watching was my seven month old daughter, who thinks I hung the moon anyway. (And of course, right now at least, my boobs are her favorite feature of mine lmao!!) Even so, there was no nudity, so don’t worry lol. It’s just the sexy moves and the mood it sets. Even though I probably will never do those moves in public (at least not anytime soon lol!!), it certainly made me feel good.

So, now I think I’m ready to admit it to y’all. LOL. I have no desire to be a stripper, but I do miss my old flirty self. I’ve been flirting with my hubby left and right, and he’s not sure what’s going on, but he’s loving it lol. Funny though, we are hardly arguing. Who knew a little flirting had so much power. (I did, once upon a time…I just forgot.)

And yesterday, hubby’s friend said to me, “Wow, you’re looking great. Did you change your hair or something?” LMAO. And this was AFTER I came home from the gym, still in my sweaty workout clothes. I think my inner peace is shining through. It feels fabulous, and I CANNOT WAIT for my body to catch up to my brain LOL.

Now, speaking of hair…I have decided that when I reach Onederland (soon I hope), I’m going to spring for a day at the salon (well, a couple of hours anyway) and get a total hair makeover. I don’t want to go too short, but I’m going to have it professionally colored and cut. No Great Clips for me. The real thing. Now, I have to say something ELSE regarding my hair.

LOL. Since going a bit darker (and more toward what I think I remember my natural color being), I’m feeling it. In a good way. So, instead of trying to be something I’m not and have never been (a blonde or a bright redhead…with straight hair), even though I tried pretty hard to be those things over the years, I’m going to stick with brunette. Maybe I’ll have a few highlights put in, I don’t know, but the base color is going to be a rich brunette. I’m loving it, and it’s making me remember that the look God gave me isn’t so bad. I’ve even started embracing the curls. (I’ve tried to straighten it forever, and it’s done hella damage to my hair!!)

For years, I tried to be whatever I thought the man of the moment wanted. It started in highschool when my BF confessed to me that he loved redheads. Soooo…a bottle of color later I was a redhead. Yay for me right? Sure, it was fun back then, but the truth is, there is a reason that our hair comes out a certain color. I remember people telling me, don’t color your hair, people PAY for hair that color. LMAO. I thought, who would pay for stupid brown hair? Well, truth be told, my hair was once a deep dark brown with golden highlights in it–natural ones. Maybe a hint of auburn to it. I don’t know. I’m feeling like this…I want to embrace who I really, truly am…and that is a brunette. So watch out world, I’m coming BACK. WOOT WOOT. It’s been far too long.

So, a brief review. I dared to try the stripping video with an open mind today. And what awesome results. And I decided that I’m ok with–in fact, thrilled with my natural haircolor. Oh, and yesterday, I walked on the treadmill for an hour and ten minutes, plus did the walk away the pounds video and tried the Hiphop Abs video (only about ten minutes on that one, just wanted to do a little preview lol.)

Sigh. What a day lol!! Anyway, hope y’all are having a truly fabulous and healthy day!!!

xoxo

Angie

Good evening to all my wonderful buddies. Sooo, for those of you who are in on my challenge to re-invent  yourself, who dared to do something different yesterday?? (Read previous two blogs if you’re interested in knowing full details lol!!)

Well, I did a couple of things. For one, I spoke to four ladies at the gym, and actually really enjoyed the conversations. Sounds like not much, right? Well, it is something. I never talked to anyone at the gym before (with the exception of a 60 year old man in the sauna who initiated the conversation lol!). Other than that, very little conversation at the gym.

Also I picked up a new color for my hair–nothing drastic, just a warmer, richer chocolate color. I put it on today and it’s lovely. It makes my eyes really pop! (Green eyes) In fact, I’m considering going even darker. It’s a very subtle change, though. My DH said that I look really cute today, but I don’t think he realizes what’s up lol. Also I changed up my previously utilitarian  shower routine. I used to wash my hair, wash my body, shave if necessary, and get out. Well, I did all of those things, plus I added a facial cloth and lotion afterward. Sounds small, but it’s a start.

I also have something exciting to tell you, but I think it will take more time than I’ve got at the moment, so I’ll save that one for tomorrow lol.

So tell me, buddies…what new thing did you do yesterday? Are you one step closer to being that person  you want to be?? I know that I’m feeling it, really feeling it. I hope y’all are too. So tell me all about it!!

Other than that, I’ve worked out every day and stayed OP, so yay for that!!

xoxo

Angie

Good morning, buddies!! I’m hot on the path to reinventing myself, the self I want to be, the self I know I can be. I’m still working out and staying on plan, so that my body can catch up to my skinny brain lol, and as I told y’all yesterday, the challenge to become the best ME I can be is on.

So, without realizing it, I took the first of many steps simply by getting on Buddy Slim. Then, I conquered my bad eating habits, and my fat brain. THEN, several months and fifty pounds later, I finally got the courage to go to the gym. I’m still no skinny minnie by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m feeling myself growing stronger, both mentally and physically, and I’ve got all kinds of energy that I didn’t have before.

Now…these things are in place. The writing career is moving again, and I’m ready to go forward. One thing I’ve just recently noticed is that my previously fabulous and trendy self has become more of a frump. It’s true folks, and I don’t like it one bit. So, I’ve started making changes already. Like I said, I went through my wardrobe and got rid of all my fat clothes. Things that don’t fit or that I don’t wear, and things that don’t make me feel HOT. That was a big step. I literally got rid of four huge garbage bags worth of clothes. WOOT.

Yesterday, I took the kids to the library to get some books and sign up for the summer reading clubs. While I was there, I picked up a couple of books–one of them was something like “How to go from Frump to Foxy in Fifteen Minutes flat.” I will tell you, there isn’t much info there that I didn’t already know, but it certainly inspired me. I also picked up one about becoming a more “Daring Female”–living a more fulfilling life. So I’m reading it now, and some of the things in it are not exactly what I’d hoped…but there are some good ideas there.

One of them, I thought I’d share with you. You know how we often think, “I wish I could ___________” or “If only I could _________”? Well, I know that for me, I’ve often thought, “Once I reach my goal weight, I will ____________.”

So today, Buddies, I have a dare for you. Sit down and take a minute, and think of one thing that you always wish you could do or be, weight related or not, and take one step toward making it happen. For example, for my writer friends (y’all know who you are!!), sit down and write a few paragraphs. For my artist friends, sit down and draw a picture or make a little statue out of playdoh.

Or, if you have decided that you want to be SEXY, maybe take a nice leisurely bath and slip into your sexiest lingerie after bathing yourself in yummy smelling lotions and potions…vamp up your hair and put some lip gloss on.

You could take the tiny baby steps, or even bigger steps (make an appointment at the salon and get your hair “did” lol). Whatever works for you.

I am going to think on this challenge myself, and will report to y’all tomorrow what new thing I did today. Of course, I will be working out twice today and writing and taking care of the  kids…but I am going to do one thing that is DARING, something outside of the norm, and I’m going to tell you all about it. I have no clue yet what it will be, but I do know that in trying to reinvent Angie, in figuring out who I am now that I’m the mother of three children, a wife, a writer…etc, discovering new things about myself is almost inevitable. So here we go folks.

I dare you to step outside of your comfort zone today and do ONE thing, take ONE step toward becoming the person you know that you can be, the person that you want to be. No matter how small…take one step, and tell me all about it!!

xoxo

Angie

Hey buddies…

First things first, let’s talk business. I did my weigh in, and I’m down another pound. Granted, it’s only one this week…BUT it was four last week, so no complaints here. At least the scale moved in the right direction lol.  I’ve stayed OP this week, and I worked out six days this week (one day I worked out twice!!).

Now, on to the more fun things. Y’all know how I was complaining about this process being too…uhm…slow? Well, it occurred to me that now that I’ve got the basic lifestyle down, it’s time to begin focusing on other things. I’m pretty good at visualizing what I’ll look like in the end (as I said before–my brain is already skinny, but my body is not quite caught up yet lol.) I’m back to my writing, which is amazing and helping me to step outside of myself.

As I’ve gained weight over the years, I’ve noticed my SELF slipping from being what one might call an “Alpha” type female to a more “Beta” type. What I mean is…I was always the one in charge, always the one getting noticed, making waves, that sort of thing. But marriage, children, and fat ass have brought me to a new place, one in which I am second to all, and first to none, at least in my own mind. I tend to bend more easily in order to please others, and most often find myself putting my needs last.

Of course, we all know that there’s a certain amount of this sort of self sacrifice required as a parent, especially one with multiple children (MOST especially one with a baby). However, it’s also important to nourish one’s self during this time, so that once the children are grown and doing their own thing, the mama is still a person–one who has substance outside of just being MOM. Now, don’t get me wrong, MOM is a fabulous and amazing thing to be. Just last night, I was nursing my daughter and felt this amazing rush of love, one that seemed to physically flow directly from my body to hers. It happens all the time, and it’s absolutely indescribable. I had it with the boys too…and I love it. I wouldn’t trade being a mom for anything in the world, seriously.

Even so, I have found that many parts of Angie were lost along the way, and that’s what I’m here to discuss. I’ve made some small changes as I said, and now I’m on the path to add self development, self evolution to my journey. I’ve managed several internal changes, most relating directly to the diet and exercise thing…and of course getting back on track with my writing. But now, there’s more work to be done. All is not complete yet, and I suppose each of us is a constant work in progress.

So, step one…I’ve been going through my wardrobe. I invited a girlfriend over this morning and we went through both of my closets and all three of my dressers (oh yes folks, it’s that bad), and she took home two garbage bags full of clothes, while I’ve got another two to drop off at the Goodwill store on Monday. Now I can get an idea of what I’ve actually got as a working wardrobe, because I do believe it’s time to add a couple of pieces lol.

All of my jeans are too big, and I got rid of most of them, but needed to keep a couple of pairs until I can get around to replacing them.  Shirts too.

The next step is that I’m doing a lot of reading and meditation on the whole “who do I want to be”question, because…call me crazy, but I believe that we have every right to define ourselves as we wish. So, while some of my “changes” will simply be going back to who I once was, some will be new and different, because the fact is, I am not the same person I was eleven years ago. I used to be a carefree, childless person. I am now a careFUL mom of three beautiful and amazing people. Oh, and I’m married. Different? I’d say.

So the Angie of yesteryear cannot be reborn, but a new and better version of her is in the works folks. I’m coming out, as my ticker slides down, my self is bounding up, being reborn into a new and better 33 year old version of me. Angie 2.0? I don’t know what to call it, but I know I’m on a quest to be who I decide to be. And the good news, folks, is that I am the architect on this project, I call the shots. Project, anyone?

Soo who wants a challenge? Anyone up for it??

My challenge to you: Join me. Let’s decide who we are, who we want to be, and let’s make it happen. Seriously. Think about it…has your weight held you back somehow? Don’t let it anymore. It’s time, right now, to take control and be who you want to be. You have every right to decide who you are. So do it. Just…do it. Anyone wanna join up?

Anyway, forgive my disorganized mess of a blog today. My brain was spewing information faster than my fingers could type lol, so this is what I’ve got. Hope y’all are having a fabulous and healthy day!!! xoxo

Angie

Well buddies, for all of my eternal optimism, I’m feeling frustrated. Have for the past few days really. I am not certain what is going on, but I’m feeling incredibly…I don’t know what.

I worked out twice yesterday, once at home and later at the gym. At the gym, I pushed myself so hard I almost passed out lol. As soon as I realized I was feeling dizzy, I slowed down fast for fear of embarrassing myself in front of the other gym goers. I could see the headline in my head, “Local fatty passes out on treadmill…full story at 11.” Or something.

I did ok though, and felt amazing afterward. Been staying totally on plan, and been feeling pretty good for the most part. The hotness is coming, slowly and in small doses, but it’s coming.

So what have I got to complain about?? Well.

Here we go folks. It’s taking too damn long. I’ve been dieting forever. LOL. Not really of course…but you know, I think that somewhere inside of me, I thought the exercise would make some immediate dramatic impact on me. In fact, it has. I have more energy and feel more motivated to continue, and now instead of wondering if I’ll eventually be hot, I KNOW it. That is amazing. But…my body doesn’t seem to be responding as quickly as my brain. Oh sure, I’m building stamina and am feeling muscles that I forgot existed. But the actual body…the appearance of it…not changing as quickly as I’d hoped.

I realize I’m being ridiculous, and I realize that I need to get over this, and fast. You see folks, this is one of those points at which I’ve given up in the past, and I cannot allow it this time. I have learned to enjoy exercise, maybe for the first time, ever in my life. Well, adult life anyway. I am staying totally on plan, even when I want to eat all the leftovers in the fridge. (An old habit lol.) I am doing this, succeeding for once, and I don’t want to falter.

Instead of ignoring these feelings, I am here, blogging them out. Instead of quietly slipping off plan and going back to my fat girl habits, my inner skinny girl is standing up for herself, doing what she needs to in order to sort these things out and move forward.

I’m starving, and I need to work out. Not a great combination really, but one that’s going to be dealt with in short order. My DVD awaits, and after that I’ll have a bit of lunch.

So what’s my bottom line here…? Well, I’m feeling like this whole thing is taking way too long. I am feeling like I want to be hot NOW, not later. (Well, of course later, but I’d really much prefer that it actually occurred like, I don’t know, yesterday.)

I feel like since I’ve finally “got” it, I deserve to fully HAVE it. You know, the body that goes with my brain. Because you see, my brain has almost fully extricated the fat girl that used to reside there. She is a dying bit of nothing, and yet my body hasn’t caught up.

Any advice would be welcomed…or pokes, pulls, kicks in the head. I need to get past this little brain fart (for lack of a better word!).  So come on buddies, let me have it. Be brutal, be honest….but don’t make me cry. LOL.

Have a wonderful and healthy day, everyone. Stay fabulous!!

xoxo

Angie

Well buddies, I have come to a compromise with my husband in regards to the gym. Since the so-called free babysitting sucks, he’s agreed that he will keep the kids three evenings a week so I can go work out. This means that I have to work out at home the other days of the week, which I can do…but I don’t enjoy it nearly as much. The reason is complex. For one, I am constantly dealing with the kids while I’m trying to exercise–which means I can’t zone out and forget the world for awhile. The gym allows me to focus ONLY on me for the time I’m exercising, and this is a wonderful feeling. Also, going to the gym and being around other folks working out is definitely more motivating, to say the least. Plus there’s that whole feeling of overcoming my fears and not giving a poop about what anyone else thinks of me as I strut my shrinking butt into that place and work out. I love that feeling, I love the whole thing.

But alas, we’ve come to a compromise. And that’s good. So hopefully the babysitter will be replaced soon lol, because I want my five to six days a week back!! LOL!

Other than that, things are good. Diet’s right on track, and I did the longer version of the Walk Away the Pounds DVD today, along with some squats, pushups, leg lifts and whatnot. I am going to do this folks, and I’m going to look so hot when I’m done. LOL. Ok, I’ll never be DONE, because this is a lifestyle, not a temporary thing…but I’m going to look hot when I reach that goal weight.

Speaking of which, I believe I’ve set my goal a bit too low. The thing is, when they did the body fat percentage thing, they said that I had 94 lbs of body fat (OMG I KNOW), and that was four lbs ago, at 215. So the thing is, if I go to 110, wouldn’t that mean I lost more than fat?? So it seems like 125 or 130 might be a more reasonable goal–but all the charts say 95-115 for my height and frame size. So what do y’all think?? Any advice? Should I change the ticker?

Ok babygirl is up, so I’m off. I’ll talk to y’all tomorrow. Hugs!!
Angie

Good evening buddies!! Well, I’ve got good news and bad news. Which do you want first??? LOL!

Here’s the bad news. So y’all know how I’ve signed up at the gym/health club? Well…the reason I selected this particular gym was the free babysitting. I have learned that I LOVE LOVE LOVE working out!! (WHO KNEW??) So, the first couple of times I went, my 12 year old cousin was staying with me, and she helped out with the baby while they were in the daycare room. After that, hubby kept the kids the next couple of times. Today, I went in with just my three kids. Cameron is ten, Noah is four, and Sophie is seven months.

I nursed Sophie before we left and brought her a juice bottle. I asked Cameron to HELP the daycare lady if Sophie got fussy, and sent his cell phone so he could call me if there was any trouble. Well, three minutes after I got on the treadmill, he called, saying his sister was crying. So I said, go ahead and give her the juice. He did. Then five minutes later, he called again. Sophie’s crying again. I advised him to ask the daycare lady to hold the baby and walk with her a bit around the room. He told me SHE WOULD NOT HOLD THE BABY, but said he’d try. Finally, thirteen minutes after I got on the treadmill, he called again, and the baby was screaming at the top of her lungs. He couldn’t do anything else. So I jumped off the treadmill and went in there. There I see my poor son trying to calm his baby sister, and this stupid woman sitting on her ass doing NOTHING. I was livid. (Remember, the whole reason I chose this gym?? The babysitting!!) I couldn’t finish my workout because this woman would do NOTHING. I complained to the manager, but what good will it do? He said they were looking for a replacement but hadn’t found one yet. Outfreakingragous. Grr. So now I have to figure out a way to get to the gym without babygirl, and hubby said he’d be ok with me going a few days a week, but not every day. I understand this, because he gets home as late as six pm and we have our family time, and then the kids are in bed by nine on weeknights (at least during the summer).

So now, I am pissed. Excuse my language…but damn. It’s like this. I never knew I even liked to exercise, and it took several years before I got the courage to get my butt to the gym. Now I discover I LOVE it, and it’s like they’re taking it away from me. GRR.

However, on the positive side, my neighbor gave me some work out DVD’s (Walk Away the Pounds–several different ones) and I did come home and work out after my daughter was calm.

Ok, enough bad news. Here’s the GOOD news!!

So just now, DH and I were out on the front porch talking. (We do this a lot, it gives us a few minutes alone.) And as we walked in, he said…(Get ready, this is good…)

“Wow, your butt is getting smaller. It looks hot…geez, I feel like I’m cheating just looking at it…”

HAHA. I loved it. What a compliment. LOL. My husband noticed my ass getting smaller. WOOT!! LOL

Anyway, hope y’all are having a fabulous and healthy day!!

xoxo

Angie

Hey buddies,

This is going to be a quickie. I did my weigh in and lost FOUR POUNDS this week!! WOOT WOOT! Total of 54 so far. Going to a picnic and swimming today to celebrate father’s day.

I worked out yesterday too, and I’m feeling it!! But it’s a good hurt. Ok, hugs to y’all, gotta go get ready. Just wanted to check in!!
xoxo

Angie